The wait was finally over. Our cow was in labor. My husband was quite tense as it was the first calf to be born on our franch. And, it was early in the evening, so the children were going to witness their first birth. It had to go well. We were hurrying about the barn trying to follow the orders of my husband as we gathered all the birthing supplies. “And get the pitchfork, son!” my husband orders, and then abruptly turns and starts to head out to the back pasture. “A pitchfork?” queries my son. “Why a pitchfork?” I yell after my husband. I mean, thinking back, I don’t remember seeing one on the labor and delivery floor when I gave birth. He gives both of us a sharp look. Trained to run codes in the emergency department, he strictly instructs, “We may need to help our cow give birth. You need to just listen for my voice, and do what I say, and do it right away.” My son quietly mumbles, “I have no idea what is going to happen, but I have a feeling there is going to be a lot of yelling.” I laugh heartily and then so does my husband. It lightens the mood. All of us lose our tempers on the franch from time to time. On our land, there are a lot of opportunities for repentance and forgiveness. Anyway, after the laughter subsides, my husband still doesn’t offer an explanation for the request. So, the pitchfork is carried along with the rest as I shrug my shoulders. I guess it just seems like a farmer thing to have. I think of the famous painting by Grant Wood, The American Gothic. It is one of the most parodied images ever. If it was re-painted to tell the story on our franch that day, it’d be of my son holding a pitchfork looking quizzically at me, and me at him, with a laboring cow in the background. Come to find out, veterinary guides indeed mention how a pitchfork can be used as a lever, along with rope, if you need to pull a calf that isn’t coming on its own. My husband knew that. But, you learned it here. So next time you see a cow in labor, you’ll know to grab the nearest pitchfork and you won’t get yelled at for asking why.
Why isn’t franch in my dictionary?
It's because my family made it up. It is both a verb and a noun. It is when you are not quite farming and you are not quite ranching. Instead, you're franching. It's like a hobby farm. But, that doesn't fit either, because it is way more than a hobby, it is a life. You spend way more than you make doing it. Yet, you still do it. And every life lesson can be learned on a franch.
FranchLife Lessons Learned
- The Lost Art of Writing Thank You
- Better than Blogging
- A Story by A Second Grader
- Summer Reading
- A Good Life
- How You Know You’re a Francher
- The Best Border Collie Ever
- Get Them Before They’re Gone
- The Old-Fashioned Way
- I’m Not Leaving
- His Mother Said That
- Easy to Make Lasagna
- A Poem in all the Mess
- Christmas Came
- If You Only Want A Sentence, You Better Say So
- God Speed the Plough
- Dinner Conversation
- Dressing Up
- Award-Winning Children or Chickens
- Love (And Little Sleep) Can Make a Fool Out of You
- A Miracle
- Do you Want the Good News or Bad News First?
- Who’s the Farmer’s Wife Now?
- Where’s Waldo?
- Just Ask Siri
- How ’bout a Toy?
- Stay
- Love Beyond Words & Borders
- It’s Chigger Time
- A Spider in a Tupperware
- Puppy Makes History
- Being a Mom Comes First
- That’s Not the End of the Story
- A Knight in Shining Armor
- A Little Bit Like Heaven
- The Grass is Sometimes Greener but it isn’t Home
- New Friends Not in a Row
- Your Life is About to Change
- Where is she?
- Franchsitters
- It’s a Matter of Perspective
- Gifts on the Franch
- Lucky
- The Day a Calf Lived
- How’s the what?
- Wooden Egg Prank Gone Wrong
- Where Did It All Go
- A Beautiful Sunrise
- Life’s Too Good on the Franch
- Sunday Best with Dirty Fingernails
- Rocking Chairs that Don’t Rock
- It’s All About the Breast
- To-Do Lists on the Franch
- The Day He Became a Hero
- Dancing on the Franch
- New Year’s with Chickens
- Exhausted yet I’d Do it all Over Again
- Reflections on Christmas on the Franch
- Not Your Mama’s Manger Scene
- Giving Back What Isn’t Ours
- Did That Just Happen?
- Hide-n-Seek on the Franch
- Man versus Water Pipe
- A Sense of Humor Required
- Unwelcome Guests
- I Won’t Run Out
- Muddy Paw Prints
- All it Takes is a Rubber Band
- Be Careful What You Wish For
- I’m Sorry, But…
- Empty Stomachs on Thanksgiving
- Franching Gets in the Way of Writing
- Animals Don’t Care
- Cow in Labor – Grab a Pitchfork, Don’t Ask Why
- No Parenting Chapter For This
- Time can Kill a Chicken
- Our Thumbs are only Light Green
- Going Broke
- In the Arena with Wild Hogs
- Franch Fashion
- Act Before You Think
- Bad Fences Make Good Neighbors
- The Birds and the Bees Hijacked by a Buck
- The Early Bird gets the Adventure
- The Other Man
- Eat Veggies Not Friends
- Saying Grace with Sincerity
- Am I a Boiled Frog?
- Why isn’t Franch in my Dictionary?
advice to me
- Grammy on Better than Blogging
- Grammy on A Story by A Second Grader
- Poppy on Better than Blogging
- Poppy on A Story by A Second Grader
- Gigi on A Good Life
- Annette on The Best Border Collie Ever
- Lin on Get Them Before They’re Gone
- Kit on The Old-Fashioned Way
- Poppy on The Old-Fashioned Way
- Lin on Easy to Make Lasagna
- Poppy on Easy to Make Lasagna
- Brad on Dinner Conversation
- Brad on Christmas Came
- Lin on Christmas Came
- Lin on God Speed the Plough
- Kelly on God Speed the Plough
- Seth on God Speed the Plough
- Kit on Love (And Little Sleep) Can Make a Fool Out of You
- Poppy on Love (And Little Sleep) Can Make a Fool Out of You
- Poppy on Just Ask Siri
This was a wonderful addition to your blog. It was so well written and I couldn’t wait to read the end to find out about the pitch fork!