FranchLife

every life lesson can be learned

Category: For A Laugh

The Birds and the Bees Hijacked by a Buck

The kids want to read mommy’s blog.  Since the franch is their life too, they are allowed.  So, I’ll speak in code.  Us parents dread the day that will eventually come when it’s time for the birds and the bees euphemism in the lives of our children.  We don’t want to prematurely tell.  But, we also don’t want it to be learned too late either.  Often, it’s time when children come home asking questions about what was whispered on the school playground.  For those raising children on the farm, the time comes when you realize your kid thinks there’s a breeder named Burt involved for us too.  On our franch, it was time for the birds and the bees when a buck arrived.  Except, he didn’t give us a chance to tell.  His name was “Stinky Pete” and he wasted no time unveiling the truths as soon as he was unloaded from the trailer.  He was ready to re-tell the story over and over again just in case they didn’t get it the first time.  We soon returned him to his owner who reported that Stinky Pete went missing and was maybe later picked up by police, as there was rumor of an unclaimed buck at the station.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he got charged for being indecent.  Tell your children about the birds and the bees before a buck does.

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The Other Man

My husband had decided that the way to cut up some downed trees on our franch was with a two-man saw.  Why?  Because, we like to do things the hard way.  So, the search began.  At first, he could only find antique ones advertised.  Laughing, I remarked, “There’s an easy explanation for that – the invention of the powered chain saw!”  One day, as he shared with me his frustrations of only finding one advertised 50+ miles away, it dawned on me, “Wait a second…who do you think ‘the other man’ of the two-man saw is going to me? It isn’t going to be me!”  Thankfully, some pressing issues came up at his job and there was no more talk about this antiquated way of cutting wood.  For some crazy reason, I really want my husband to be happy and accomplish whatever he comes up with no matter how insane…so I secretly took on the search and surprised him with a two-man saw.  So, weeks later, there I was, on the other side of a big log knowing I only had myself to blame.  Most of you haven’t time traveled from the past to today, so let me explain, you need to be in rhythm with your partner for the two-man saw to smoothly cut the wood.  It was hilarious how we just couldn’t quite get into rhythm with each other.  I’d pull, he’d push, then he’d pull when I wasn’t done pulling, so I’d push, and he’d hesitate, and we’d both then pull…  But, we still eventually made it happen while laughing the whole time.  This completely fits how we live most of our life together.  It’s a little awkward, but it works, and it is a whole lot of fun.  This evening, as an arctic blast blows in to our area, we did our family devotions beside a roaring fire with the wood cut when I was willing to be “the other man.”

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